好吧 我们试试演奏别的 All right, let's try somethin' else.
从头开始 预备 一 二 三 From the top. Ready. One, two, three.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four.
跟上拍子 Stay on the beat.
二 三 四 Two, three, four.
这里是升C调 小号手 That's C sharp, horns.
二 三...我看到你了 迦勒 Two, three... I see you, Caleb.
瑞秋 该你了 Rachel, now you.
加老师 我忘带萨克斯了 Forgot my sax, Mr G.
好吧 她忘带萨克斯了 那该你了 康妮 Okay, she forgot her sax. And now, all you, Connie.
来吧 Go for it!
真不错 Way to go!
等等 等等 你们在笑什么 Hang on, hang on. What are y'all laughing at?
康妮有点忘我了 So Connie got a little lost in it.
这是好事 That's a good thing.
听着 我爸爸曾带我去过一个爵士乐俱乐部 Look, I remember one time my dad took me to this jazz club,
我最不想去的就是那种地方 and that's the last place I wanted to be.
但在那里我见到了一个人 But then I see this guy,
他用四分音符演奏和弦 and he's playing these chords with fourths on it,
然后加上小调 and then with the minor...
然后他又加上了内心的声音 就好像他在... Then he adds the inner voices, and it's like he's...
他在唱歌一样 It's like he's singing.
说真的 之后我只记得 And I swear, the next thing I know...
他像是从舞台上飘了下来 it's like he floats off the stage.
他也在音乐中忘我了 That guy was lost in the music.
他全情投入 把我们所有人也带进去了 He was in it, and he took the rest of us with him.
我想学会... And I wanted to learn...
像他那样演奏 how to talk like that.
那时候我就知道了 That's when I knew...
我是为演奏而生的 I was born to play.
康妮明白我的意思 对吧 康妮 Connie knows what I mean. Right, Connie?
我才12岁 I'm 12.
我马上回来 好好练你们的音阶 I'll be right back. Practise your scales.
抱歉打断你 加德纳老师 Sorry to interrupt, Mr Gardner.
你真是救了我的耳朵 You're doing my ears a favour.
不是你的问题 你不错 Not you, though, you're good.
他才没有不错 He's not.
有什么能帮你的吗 阿罗约校长 What can I do for you, Principal Arroyo?
我想亲自传达好消息 I wanted to deliver the good news personally.
你不用再干兼职了 No more part time for you.
你现在升任为我们的全职乐队教师 You're now our full time band teacher.
就业保障 Job security.
医疗保险 养老金 Medical insurance. Pension.
真是...棒极了 That's, uh, great.
欢迎加入我们的大家庭 乔 永久性的 Welcne to the M.S. 70 family, Joe. Permanently.
谢谢 Thanks.
这么多年了 我的祈祷终于得到了回应 After all these years, my prayers have been answered.
一份全职工作 A full time job.
有工作的人来了 Working man, cning through.
嗯 妈 但是我... Yeah, Mom, but I...
你会接受职位的 对吧 You're going to tell them yes, right?
别担心 妈 我都计划好了 Don't worry, Mom, I got a plan.
你总是说自己计划好了 You always got a plan.
或许你还得准备个备用计划 Maybe you need to have a backup plan, too,
以防你原本的计划失败 for when your plan falls through.
有备无患嘛 A backup plan never hurts.
乔伊 我们拼了老命让你接受教育 Joey, we didn't struggle giving you an education
可不是为了让你人到中年 so you could be a middle aged man
还得来我的店里洗内裤 washing your underwear in my shop.
裤子上破洞了还接着穿 Walking around with a hole in his pants.
嗯 但是... 有了这份工作 Yeah, but... With this job, you'll be able
你就不用再惦记着毫无前途的演出了 to put that dead end gigging behind you.
我们这个世界需要更多的老师 And Lord knows we need more teachers in this world.
想想看 演奏终于能成为你的正职了 And just think! Playing music will finally be your real career!
所以你会接受职位的 对吧 So you're going to tell them yes, right?
请一定接受 Please say yes.
当然了 Yeah, definitely.
很好 Good.
喂 你好吗 加老师 Hello? How you been, Mr G?
我是科里 拉蒙特 拉蒙特贝克 It's Curley. Lamont. Lamont Baker.
科里 接到你的电话真高兴 Hey, Curley! Hey, good to hear your voice, man.
你叫我乔吧 科里 Listen. You can call me Joe now, Curley.
我已经不是你的老师了 I'm not your teacher anymore.
好的 加德纳老师 Oh, okay, Mr Gardner.
我是多萝西娅威廉姆斯四重奏的新鼓手 Hey, look, I'm the new drummer in the Dorothea Williams Quartet,
我们巡演的第一场 and we're kickin' off our tour
是今晚在二分音符俱乐部的演出 with a show at The Half Note tonight.
多萝西娅威廉姆斯 你开玩笑吧 Dorothea Williams! Are you kidding me?
开玩笑的吧 祝贺你 老兄 Are you kidding me? Congratulations, man.
如果能跟多萝西娅威廉姆斯合奏 I would die a happy man
那我真是死而无憾了 if I could perform with Dorothea Williams.
那你可真是走运了 Oh, well, this could be your lucky day.
你来了 科里 Whew, there he is. Hey, Curley.
利昂这一走让我们很是为难 Leon skipping town really put us in a bind, man.
那是一定 还好你赶来了 Yeah. Uh, I'll bet. I'm glad you made it.
我的老伙计毕夏普说去年 My boy, Bishop, said he sat in with you
曾跟你一起在布鲁克林演出过 on a set last year in Brooklyn.
他说你很棒 Said you were great.
只不过是咖啡店的演出 Well, you know, for a coffee shop.
多萝西娅 Hey, Dorothea.
这就是我跟你说过的伙计 This is the cat I was telling you about.
以前我中学乐队的老师 加德纳老师 My old middle school band teacher, Mr Gardner.
叫我乔吧 多萝西娅 Call me Joe, Dorothea.
我是说 威廉姆斯女士 Uh, I mean, Miss Williams.
幸会 实在是太棒了 It's a pleasure. Wow. This is amazing.
乔是雷加德纳的儿子 Uh, Joe is Ray Gardner's son.
我们现在都降到中学乐队老师这个档次了 So, we're down to middle school band teachers now.
上来吧 老师 没多少时间浪费 Get on up here, Teach, we ain't got all day.
我们要...要演奏什么 What... What are we playin'?
抱歉 我刚才有点忘我了 Uh, sorry, I... zone out a little back there.
乔加德纳 你之前都在哪里 Joe Gardner, where have you been?
我在...中学乐队当老师 I've been, uh, teaching, middle school band.
但是周末 我还是会... Uh, but on the weekends, I...
你有西装吗 You got a suit?
去买套西装 老师 买套好的 Get a suit, Teach. A good suit.
今晚过来 第一场演出九点开始 Back here tonight. First show's at 9:00.
七点试音 Soundcheck's at 7:00.
到时候看看你的表现 We'll see how you do.
太棒了 Yes!
看到了吗 爸 这就是我想说的 You see that, Dad? That's what I'm talking about!
看招牌 看招牌 Hey, look up, look up.
你知道他们选了谁弹钢琴吗 乔加德纳 You know what that's gonna say? Joe Gardner!
你绝对不会相信刚才发生了什么 You're never gonna believe what just happened.
我成功了 我拿到表演机会了 太棒了 I did it. I got the gig. Yes!
我知道 I... I know.
萝西娅威廉姆斯 你敢相信吗 Dorothea Williams! Can you believe it?
伙计 你会受伤的 Hey, pal, you're gonna get hurt!
别告诉我妈 好吗 Just don't tell my mom about this. Okay?
还上什么课 我现在层次不同了 Forget class. I'm in a different class.
我加入了萝西娅威廉姆斯的团队 I'm in a Dorothea Williams class, buddy.
你明白我的意思吗 You know what I'm saying? I'm...
抱歉 Sorry!
怎么回事 What the...
有人吗 Hello?
有人吗 Hello?
怎么回事 What the...
你们好 Hello!
你们好 Hello.
你叫什么名字 亲爱的 Oh, what's your name, honey?
我叫乔 乔加德纳 Uh, I'm Joe. Joe Gardner.
听着 我不该在这里 Look, I'm not supposed to be here.
对你来说一定很突然 Must have been sudden for you.
乔 我已经106岁了 You see, Joe, I'm 106 years old.
早就等着这一刻了 Been waiting a long time for this.
等什么 往生 For what? The Great Beyond.
往生 The Great Beyond?
是来世的意思吗 对 As in, as in beyond life? Yeah.
那边就是死亡吗 That's death right there?
令人激动 不是吗 Exciting, isn't it?
不不不 听我说 No, no, no, listen.
我今晚有演出 我不能死 I have a gig tonight. I can't die now.
我想这件事可不是你说了算 Well, I really don't think you have a lot to say about this.
不 不 我说了算 Yes. Yes, I do.
我不能在得到机会的当天死去 I'm not dying the very day I got my shot.
这是我应得的 见鬼 我等太久了 I'm due. Heck, I'm overdue.
我要离开这里 I'm outta here.
那边应该不是你该走的方向 I don't think you're supposed to go that way.
不能这样 我今天不能死 This can't happen. I'm not dyin' today.
我的人生才刚开始 Not when my life just started.
什么情况 慢着 What was that? Wait.
我还有未竟之事 我得回去 I'm not finished. I gotta get back.
我不想死 I don't wanna die!
我没玩完 没有 快跑啊 I'm not done. I'm not done. Run!
你们怎么不跑 不知道 Why aren't you running? I don't know.
你们怎么回事 不知道 What's wrong with you people? I don't know.
我还没结束 I'm not done.
天啊 我的天 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.
抱歉 抱歉 借过 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
救命 我还没完 我得回去 Help! I'm not done. I gotta get back.
天...我的天 Oh, my... Oh, my goodness.
什么 What?
好了好了 所有人注意 Now, now, everyone,
咱们给导师一点空间 let's give the mentor some room.
抱歉了 新灵魂 37 别闹了 Sorry, new souls. 37, that's enough.
大家看我这里 安静狼 Hey, everyone, look here. Quiet coyote.
安静狼 Quiet coyote.
你是谁 Who... Who are you?
我是宇宙中 I am the cning together
所有量子场的集结 of all quantised fields of the universe.
呈现成你们人类的小脑子能理解的样子 Appearing in a form your feeble human brain can cnprehend.
啥 你可以叫我杰瑞 What? You can call me Jerry.
杰瑞 好吧 Jerry, okay.
这里是天堂吗 Is this heaven?
不是 No.
这里是土也犭讠犬吗 Is it H E double hockey sticks?
地狱 地狱 地狱 Hell. Hell, hell, hell.
安静狼 地狱 Quiet coyote. Hell.
确实很容易搞糊涂 It's easy to get turned around.
这里不是往生 这里是生前 This isn't the Great Beyond. It's the Great Before.
生前 The Great Before?
现在叫"本我研讨会"了 新形象 We call it the You Seminar now. Rebranding.
地狱 Hell.
不 你在这里 No, no. You're here!
这是不是意味着我死了 Does this mean I'm dead?
还没死 Not yet.
你的身体处在停滞状态 Your body's in a holding pattern.
说来复杂 It's cnplicated.
我带你回你的小组去 I'll get you back to your group.
来吧 灵魂们 都上来 Come on, little souls, get on up here.
欢迎来到本我研讨会 Welcne to the You Seminar.
你们会不虚此行的 You are in for a treat.
奇怪 怎么了 That's weird. What is it?
计数对不上 什么 The count's off. Excuse me?
少了一个灵魂 计数对不上 There's a soul missing. The count's off.
好了 第一站是易兴奋馆 Okay, first stop is the Excitable Pavilion.
你们四个 去吧 You four. In you go.
你们五个去冷漠馆 还有你俩 也去吧 You five, you'll be aloof. And you two, why not?
等一下 Oh, wait a minute.
性格就是这么来的吗 This is where personalities cne from?
当然 不然你以为凭空生来就有吗 Of course. Do you think people are just born with them?
那他们怎么去地球 So, uh, how do they get to Earth, then?
要用地球传送门 Well, they use the Earth portal.
当然 要等他们形成完整的性格之后 Once they get a cnplete personality, of course.
人呢 喂 Hello? Hello?
再见 Goodbye.
等等 别啊 Wait, wait, wait.
你还真爱走丢啊 You sure get lost a lot.
好了 导师们 All righty, mentors.
来这里找自己的名字 杰瑞 Just find your name here... Hello, Jerry...
然后到里面去 给你带了个走丢的导师 and join us inside. ...got a lost mentor for you.
谢了 杰瑞 Thanks, Jerry.
听着 我觉得不该在这里 Uh, look, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be here.
我理解 I understand.
不是人人都适合当导师的 Mentoring isn't for everyone.
非常欢迎你退出 You're more than welcne to opt out.
其实吧 我又一想 Actually, on second thought,
当导师听起来也挺有意思的 you know, the mentoring sounds like fun.
很高兴你这么说 接下来交给杰瑞了 I'm glad to hear it. Jerry will take it from here.
谢了 杰瑞 去杰瑞那边吧 Thanks, Jerry. Head right on over there to Jerry.
谢了 杰瑞 Thank you, Jerry.
这里的人都叫杰瑞吗 Is everyone here named Jerry?
祝好运 Good luck!
杰瑞 有麻烦了 Jerry, we've got a problem.
你好啊 泰瑞 计数对不上 Hello, there, Terry. The count's off.
我深表怀疑 I seriously doubt that.
计数已经几个世纪没出过问题了 The count hasn't been off in centuries.
每天都有15.1万个灵魂踏入往生 151,000 souls go into the Great Beyond every day.
也就是每分钟105.2个灵魂 杰瑞 That's 105.2 souls per minute, Jerry.
每秒1.75个 1.75 souls per second.
而我会数清他们每一个 And I count every single one of 'em.
是的 我知道 Yep. I'm aware.
我的工作就是盯好计数 杰瑞 It's my job to keep track of this stuff, Jerry.
我是会计师 I'm the accountant.
而我们都觉得你做得非常棒 And we all think you're doing a wonderful job,
是吧 大伙 绝对的 Don't we, everyone? Absolutely.
从这人的角度来看挺棒的 Looks good from where this guy's standing.
我并不觉得 I'd say no.
我总是在数数 我现在就在数 I'm always counting. I'm counting right now.
从我开始说话起 你眨了五次眼 六次了 You blinked five times since I started talking. Six.
好的 既然计数是你的工作 Right. Since accounting is your job,
那你就把问题解决了吧 why don't you figure out the problem?
也许我会的 好极了 Maybe I will. Wonderful.
又见面了 泰瑞 Hello again, Terry.
别跟我装疯卖傻 Don't play dumb with me.
好 来吧 Okay, here we go.
从A开始 "A."
各位导师大家好啊 Hello, there, mentors.
我是杰瑞 本我研讨会的顾问 I'm Jerry, a counselor here at the You Seminar.
你们已经不记得了 但你们以前来过 Now you don't remember it, but you've been here before.
不过别担心 忘记出生时的痛苦 But don't worry, forgetting the trauma of childbirth
是宇宙最美好的礼物之一 is one of the great gifts of the universe.
在本我研讨会中 Here at the You Seminar,
所有新灵魂都会被给予独一无二的性格 all new souls are given unique and individual personalities.
我是个招人喜欢的怀疑论者 谨慎又浮夸 I'm an agreeable sceptic who's cautious yet flamboyant.
我是个暴躁的旁观者 对凡事都好奇得可怕 I'm an irritable wallflower who's dangerously curious.
我是个操纵人心的自大狂 强烈崇尚投机取巧 I'm a manipulative megalomaniac who's intensely opportunistic.
这个灵魂可能很难搞 this one might be a handful.
不过那是地球的麻烦了 But that's Earth's problem.
你们会注意到这些灵魂都缺了点东西 You'll notice these souls are all missing something.
这一格里应该填什么 What goes in this spot?
这些灵魂需要他们的"火花" Well, these souls need their "spark".
而这就需要你们发挥作用了 And that's where you cne in.
也许你们能帮他们 Maybe you will find their spark
在万物殿堂中找到火花 in the Hall of Everything,
在那里 地球上的万事万物都可能是灵感 where literally anything on Earth could inspire.
或许你们会更喜欢本我殿堂 Or perhaps you'll prefer the Hall of You,
由你们一生中的片段精选组成 featuring a selection of moments from your own inspiring life.
这火花到底是什么呢 And just what is this spark?
我知道你们都迫不及待想去工作了 I know you're all excited to get to work,
祝各位好运 都能找到火花 so good luck finding the spark.
找到火花 Find the spark.
刚才那段真是太长知识了 Wow, that was informative.
现在到了活动中我最爱的环节了 Now, it's time for my favourite part of the programme,
匹配导师和灵魂伙伴 matching you mentors with your soul mates.
第一位导师是玛丽亚马丁内斯 Our first mentor is Maria Martinez.
玛丽亚 请下来 Maria, cne on down.
玛丽亚生前是墨西哥大学的 Maria was a rare disease specialist
罕见病专家 from the University of Mexico.
治好了 治好了 I'm cured. I'm cured.
与她配对的是我最喜欢的一个 She'll be matched with one of my favourites,
108210121415号灵魂 soul number 108,210,121,415.
恭喜 去吧 Congratulations! Off you go.
下一位导师是比约恩T伯根森 Our next mentor is Bjorn T. Brgensson.
伯根森博士生前是位誉满全球的儿童心理学家 Dr Brgensson is a world renowned child psychologist
最近刚获得了诺贝尔奖 who was recently awarded a Nobel Prize.
我看到了痛苦 死亡 毁灭 I see pain, death, destruction.
那现在呢 一只美丽的蝴蝶 How about now? A pretty butterfly.
与伯根森博士配对的是22灵魂 Dr Brgensson will be matched with soul number 22.
又来这出了 失陪一下 Oh, we're gonna get into this now. Excuse me.
22 立刻从这个空间出来 22, you cne out of this dimension right now.
我要告诉你多少遍 我不想去地球 How many times do I have to tell you? I don't wanna go to Earth.
别再抵抗了 22 我不想去 Stop fighting this, 22. I don't wanna.
你要去地球 You will go to Earth
度过自己的人生 你逼我啊 and have a life. Make me!
22在本我研讨会待了有一段时间了 22 has been at the You Seminar for quite some time
她配对过不少德高望重的导师 比如甘地 and has had such notable mentors as Gandhi,
亚伯拉罕林肯 以及特蕾莎修女 Abraham Lincoln, and Mother Teresa.
我把她弄哭了 I made her cry.
别听她的 放我下去 Ignore that. Put me down.
你能来此我们十分高兴 伯根森博士 We're truly glad to have you here, Dr Brgensson.
能让你帮22做好去地球的准备是我们的荣幸 It is an honour having you prepare 22 for Earth.
我会让你后悔自己死了 I'm gonna make you wish you never died.
大部分人的确后悔 22 Most people wish that, 22.
去吧 再见 Off you go. Bye!
我们这是在哪 Where are we?
进步很大 That's great progress.
你应该感到骄傲 一步一步来 You should be very proud. Step by step.
为颂扬伯根森博士的研究成果 In celebration of Dr Brgensson's body of work,
我们很荣幸能授予他此项荣誉 we are pleased to present him this honorary...
过去的几周 效果显著 These past few weeks, I have seen such growth.
当然 有许多我想感谢的人 So many people I'd like to thank, of course.
好吧 你的人生肯定很精彩 Okay, look, I'm sure your life was amazing
你做过了不起的事 and you did amazing things,
但接下来是这样 but here's what we're gonna do.
我们现在安静地在这里待一会 We're gonna stand here in silence for a little bit,
然后回去 你说你尽力了 then we go back out, you say you tried,
我回去接着过没有生命的生活 I go back to not living my non life
而你去往生 and you go to the Great Beyond.
不 听着 随你怎么说 比约恩 No, look. Talk all you want, Bjorn.
不管怎样都没用的 It's not gonna work, anyway.
已经有无数个失败后对我心怀怨恨的导师了 I've had thousands of mentors who failed and now hate me.
特蕾莎修女 Mother Teresa...
我对每个灵魂都心怀怜悯 I have cnpassion for every soul.
除了你 我不喜欢你 Except you. I don't like you.
哥白尼 Copernicus...
世界不是绕着你转的 22 The world doesn't revolve around you, 22.
拳王阿里 Muhammad Ali...
你真是世界上最难缠的人 You are the greatest pain in the butt.
玛丽安托瓦内特 Marie Antoinette...
没人帮得了你 没有人 Nobody can help you! Nobody!
谢谢 但是不用了 博士 Thanks, but no thanks, Doc.
我已经对地球了如指掌了 I already know everything about Earth,
它不值得我这么辛苦 and it's not worth the trouble.
别这样 你难道不想填满通行证吗 Come on, don't you want to fill out your pass?
我在这待得挺舒服 You know, I'm cnfortable up here.
我有固定日程 I have my routine.
在雾里飘来飘去 玩数独游戏 I float in mist, I do my Sudoku puzzles,
然后 大概一周一次吧 and then, like, once a week,
他们逼我去参加本我研讨会 they make me cne to one of these You Seminars.
这样的日子虽平淡 但一切皆在掌控之中 It's not great, but I know what to expect.
小家伙 我不是...我跟你说实话吧 Look, kid, I'm not... Can I just be honest with you?
我不是比约恩伯根森 如果他叫这名的话 I'm not Bjorn Borgenstein or whatever his name is.
我甚至都不是导师 I'm not even a mentor.
你不是导师 Not a mentor?
逆反心理学 Reverse psychology.
你的确是个好心理医生 博士 You really are a good shrink, Doctor.
卡尔荣格早就试过这招了 Carl Jung already tried that.
别说了 我的潜意识都恨死你了 Stop talking! My unconscious mind hates you!
有法子在这里看别的人生吗 Is there any way to show a different life in this place?
慢着 你真的不是比约恩伯根森吗 Wait. You're really not Bjorn Brgensson?
这是我的人生 It's my life.
等等 这些是什么情况 Um, excuse me, what's going on here?
比那卡口气清新剂 还有廉价古龙水 Binaca breath spray? Cheap cologne?
天啊 这展览是谁策划的 Man, who curated this exhibit?
是你 You did.
我的老天 这是塞德里克说唱乐队 不要啊 Oh, my goodness. It's Cedric's rap group. No!
不 别看这些 我们去那边看看 No, don't look at that stuff. Let's look over here.
爸 我不想去 Dad, I don't wanna go.
我不喜欢爵士 I don't like jazz.
黑人即兴音乐 Black improvisational music.
是我们对美国文化最了不起的贡献 It's one of our great contributions to American culture.
至少给它一次机会 乔伊 At least give it a chance, Joey.
一切都由此开始 This is where it all started.
就在这一刻 我爱上了爵士乐 This is the moment where I fell in love with jazz.
你听 Listen to that.
曲子只是展示自我的媒介 See, the tune is just an excuse to bring out the you.
正因如此 我成为了爵士乐手 And that's why I became a jazz musician.
这不是我们要找的音乐 It's not what we're looking for.
等等 我印象里不是这样的 Wait a minute, that's not how I remember it going down.
等你有点真本事再来吧 Come back when you have something.
抱歉 乔 抱歉 乔 Sorry, Joe. Sorry, Joe.
我们要找的是独特的音乐 We're looking for something different.
二 三 四 Two, three, four.
我的人生毫无意义 My life was meaningless.
不 不行 No, no, no.
不 我不接受 No, I will not accept this.
小家伙 把徽章给我 我要回自己的身体里去 Kid, give me that badge. I'm goin' back to my body.
没问题 给你 Oh, yeah, sure. Here.
在它变成地球通行证之前 我摆脱不了它 Unless it becnes an Earth Pass, I'm stuck with it.
要是我帮你把它变成地球通行证呢 Well, what if I help you turn it into an Earth Pass?
到那时你会给我吗 Will you give it to me then?
等一下 Wait...
我还真没想过这办法 我能跳过人生 I've never thought of that. I'd get to skip life.
当然可以 So, yes!
但我们得先让这东西改变 But we gotta get this thing to change first,
我一直都没法让它改变 and I've never been able to get it to change.
来吧 我最了解火花了 Come on. I know all about sparks.
因为我的火花就是钢琴 Because mine is piano.
当真吗 你什么都没感觉到 Really? Nothin' at all?
不是针对爵士乐 所有音乐都一样 Oh, no, not jazz, just music.
我不喜欢音乐的声音 I don't like music sounds.
感觉有点太过了 It feels like a little too much.
我不能就这么出去 Well, I'm not going out like this.
那个万物殿堂在哪里 Where's that, uh, Hall of Everything?
我去去就回 I'll be right back.
别操之过急 老兄 Don't get ahead of yourself, pal.
对了 为什么你听起来像个中年白人妇女 By the way, why do you sound like a middle aged white lady?
并不是 I don't.
这都是幻觉 This is all an illusion.
这里的一切都是假想 This whole place is a hypothetical.
如果我想 我能让声音变成这样 I could sound like this if I wanted to.
或者是这样 Or sound like this instead.
甚至可以变成你的声音 I could even sound like you.
生活如此不公 Life is so unfair.
我不想死 谁快叫辆救护车 I don't wanna die. Somebody call the wambulance.
我用这声音 因为它惹人不爽 I just use this voice because it annoys people.
十分有效 It's very effective.
别担心 他们没事 Don't worry, they're fine.
在这里打不垮灵魂 You can't crush a soul here.
只有地球上的生活才能 That's what life on Earth is for.
真幽默 Very witty.
好了 到了 Okay. Here we are.
这里就是万物殿堂 This is the Hall of Everything.
太棒了 Yes!
恭喜 Congratulations!
你想从哪里开始 So, where do you want to start?
来吧 Come on.
可颂 蛋糕 也许你的火花是烘焙 Croissants, cakes. Baking could be your spark.
太好了 但我没什么兴趣 Yeah! But, um, I don't get it.
你闻闻 闻不到 你也是一样 Just smell it. Can't, and neither can you.
什么 What?
你说得对 我闻不到 You're right. I can't smell.
我们不能...我们也不能品尝味道吗 We can't... We can't taste, either?
所有的感觉都属于你的身体 All that stuff is in your body.
没有嗅觉 也没味觉 也没触觉 看吧 No smell, no taste. Or touch. See?
好吧 我懂了 翻篇吧 Okay, I get it. Moving on.
是不是很刺激 Isn't this exciting?
火可真美 The fire is so pretty.
我有点想让它蔓延开来 I kinda wanna let it spread.
不行 Nope.
手真难画 Hands are hard.
图书管理员怎么样 他们很酷 How about a librarian? They're cool.
对 非常好 Yes, amazing.
谁会不喜欢做那种吃力不讨好 Who wouldn't like working at a thankless job
又随时可能因预算削减而被裁员的工作呢 you're always in danger of losing due to budget cuts?
虽然我确实很喜欢想嘘谁就嘘谁的感觉 Though I do like the idea of randomly shushing people.
很显然这... 嘘 Look, obviously this... Shh!
确实感觉不错 Oh, yeah, that's good.
没兴趣 Meh.
没兴趣 Meh.
没兴趣 Meh.
没兴趣 Meh.
应该全过了一遍了 Well, I think that's everything.
抱歉 你跟我说你会尝试的 Sorry. You told me you'd try.
我试了啊 我说的感受都是真的 I did. I'm telling the truth.
无论如何 我不是骗子 If there's one thing I'm not, it's a liar.
我可不像亚伯拉罕林肯 Unlike Abraham Lincoln.
你当真不介意你的头像被刻在一美分硬币上吗 You're really okay being on a penny?
当然不介意 这是我的荣幸 Well, of course. It's an honour.
但安德鲁杰克逊的头像被印在了二十美元上 Okay, but they put Andrew Jackson on the 20.
杰克逊 Jackson!
我还能说什么呢 乔伊 地球很无聊 What can I say, Joe? Earth is boring.
那我们还能做什么 Well, what else can we do, then?
因为我们快没时间了 Because we're running out of time.
时间在这里无关紧要 Yeah, you know, time's not really a thing here.
时间到 Time's up!
挺努力啊 比约恩 不过不用难过 Nice try, Bjorn, but no need to feel bad.
22在这里算是个难题 22 here can be a bit of a challenge.
虽然我感觉不到 但是请你不要碰我 Even though I can't feel it, please don't touch me.
我来送你去往生吧 So, let's get you to the Great Beyond.
等等 我们忘记试试霹雳舞了 Wait. We forgot to try breakdancer.
对 那应该就是我的火花 Yeah! I think that's gonna be my thing.
机械舞 锁舞 风车旋转 Poppin' and lockin'. Windmills.
用舞蹈解决纠纷 Settling my disputes with dance.
能再给我们点时间回去试试霹雳舞吗 Can we have one more minute to go back and try breakdancer?
拜托了 杰瑞 Please, Jerry?
你今天看起来真精神 杰瑞 You look really good today, Jerry.
好吧 我从没见22这么兴奋过 Oh, okay. I've never seen 22 this enthused.
你真了不起 伯根森博士 Good for you, Dr Brgensson.
快跑 Run.
进来 In here.
到了 Here it is.
这是通向哪里 Where does it lead?
你问题太多了 Hey, you ask too many questions.
你能不能把嘴巴闭上一会儿 How about you zip it for a minute, m'kay?
我们为什么要去那 因为那有个我认识的人 And we're going there why? 'Cause I know a guy there.
一个能帮上忙的像你一样的人 A guy who can help. A guy like you.
像我一样是指还活着吗 Like me? As in, alive?
慢着 你居然要帮我吗 Wait, are you actually helping me?
乔 我待在这里都不知道多久了 Joe, I have been here for who knows how long,
从未遇到任何事物能激起我对生命的向往 and I've never seen anything that's made me want to live.
然后你出现了 你的生活乏味又可悲 And then, you cne along. Your life is sad and pathetic.
而你还那么努力想要重回地球 And you're working so hard to get back to it.
这是为什么 我得去一探究竟 Why? I mean, this I gotta see.
好吧 我们走 Okay, let's go.
这是什么地方 What is this place?
你知道当你们人类沉浸于某个事物上时 You know how when you humans are really into something
会感觉自己进入了另一个世界吧 and it feels like you're in another place?
仿佛进入了忘我境界 Feels like you're in the zone, right?
对 这里就是忘我境界 Yeah. Well, this is the zone.
物质与精神之间的空间 It's the space between the physical and spiritual.
等等 我来过这里 就在今天试演的时候 Wait a minute. I was here. Today, doing my audition.
这里一定是音乐家进入忘我状态时来的地方 This must be where musicians cne when they get into a flow.
不只是音乐家 看好了 Not just musicians. Watch this.
罗密欧 罗密欧 为什么你是... O, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou...
提词 Line!
看看这个 Check this out.
几十年来我一直在干扰这支球队 I have been messing with this team for decades.
尼克斯队又输掉一场比赛 And the Knicks lose another one.
行了 行了 你认识的那个家伙在哪里 All right. All right. Where's this guy you know?
我得回去演出 I gotta get back to my gig.
好了 他一般就在这里 什么 Okay. I mean, he's usually down here. What the...
做单交易 Make a trade.
做单交易 做单交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
那是什么 嘘 What is that? Shh!
做单交易 做单交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
快跑 Run!
做单交易 做单交易 做单交易 Make a trade, make a trade, make a trade!
你们好啊 精神世界的旅行伙伴们 Oh! Ahoy there, fellow astral travellers.
很高兴再次见到你 22 Good to see you again, 22.
明月清风 你还好吗 Moonwind, how are ya?
我在发疯的边缘 谢谢关心 On the brink of madness, thanks for asking.
请你帮个忙 Hey, got a request for you.
我想重回我的身体 Uh, yeah. I'm trying to get back to my body.
你能帮我吗 Can you help me?
我们就是干这个的 That's what we do.
我们是无边界神秘主义者 We are the mystics without borders.
致力于帮助地球那些迷失的灵魂找到归路 Devoted to helping the lost souls of Earth find their way.
我是明月清风明星舞者 随时为您效劳 I'm Moonwind Stardancer at your service.
那位是清风明星明月追梦人 That's Windstar Dreamermoon,
舞者明星清风明月 Dancerstar Windmoon,
那位是清风追梦人追梦追梦人 and that's Dreamerwind Dreamerdreamer.
这些怪人要帮我回去吗 These weirdos are going to help me get back?
等着瞧 Just wait.
我们来送这个迷失的灵魂回家 Let's get this lost soul back home.
做单交易 Make a trade.
做单交易 做单交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
可怜的伙计 Poor fellow.
有些人就是不愿放下自己的焦虑和执念 Some people just can't let go of their own anxieties and obsessions,
害得自己迷失方向游离地球 leaving them lost and disconnected from life.
结果就是这样 And this is the result.
做单交易 做单交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
做单交易 做单交易 Make a trade. Make a trade.
做单交易 Make a trade?
看来又是一位对冲基金经理人 Looks like another hedge fund manager.
我们现在来重新连结你在地球的身体 Now, to reconnect to your earthly body.
那是我 That's me.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我这辈子都在干什么 What am I doing with my life?
我还活着 我还活着 解放自我吧 I'm alive! I'm alive! Free yourselves!
太美好了 It's beautiful!
他这么简单就回去了吗 He got back just like that?
这样做就能回到我的身体里了吗 So this is all I had to do to get back to my body?
天啊 天啊 Egads, man!
乔 你死了吗 Joe, are you dead?
没 没死 还没死 No, no. Well, not yet.
你能帮我回去吗 Can you help me get back?
我们从没试过帮断连的灵魂与身体重新连接 We've never connected an untethered soul back to its body before.
不过如果去薄弱点... But perhaps if we travel to a thin spot...
没错 所有人上船 Yes! All aboard!
开船 Anchors away!
安分守己 Keep a clean nose
小心便衣 Watch the plain clothes
不用预报 就知风向 You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows
如果你们的灵魂在这里 那你们的身体在哪里 So if your souls are here, where are your bodies?
当然是在地球了 Well, on Earth, of course.
我的身体正在巴拉望岛发呆 My body is in a trance in Palawan.
我正在西藏弹维纳琴 I'm playing the Saraswati veena in Tibet.
我是萨满治疗师 正在加州伯克利冥想 I'm a shamanic healer meditating in Berkeley, California.
让我猜一猜 And let me guess,
你在击鼓 诵经 冥想吗 you're drumming, chanting, and meditating?
是 差不多吧 Yes. Something like that.
我在纽约第十四街和第七大道路口拐角处 I'm in New York City, on the corner of 14th and 7th.
就在托尼托尼托尼欧斯附近 Oh, yeah, that's right up from Tony Tony Tonios.
没错 正是那里 Yes, precisely.
那你呢 我还以为你讨厌地球 And what about you? I thought you hated Earth.
没有身体束缚我 Yeah, I'm not stuck with a body.
所以我来去自由 So I can go wherever I want.
我谁都不是 明白吗 I'm a nobody, get it?
我们神秘主义者每周二相聚于这个美丽的地方 We mystics meet in this glorious landscape every Tuesday.
这么多迷失的灵魂 真可悲 So many of them. Sad.
迷失的灵魂和神游于忘我境界的灵魂 You know, lost souls are not that different
并无太大区别 from those in the zone.
什么 忘我境界的确令人愉悦 What? The zone is enjoyable,
可是一旦沉溺其中 but when that joy becnes an obsession,
人就会脱离生活迷失自我 one becnes disconnected from life.
必须找到它 Gotta find it.
必须找到它 必须找到它 Gotta find it. Gotta find it.
我自己也曾迷失过 For a time, I was a lost soul myself.
是吗 沉迷于俄罗斯方块 Really? Tetris.
到了 There you are.
我们马上就送你回去 We'll have you back in no time.
因为你和身体的连接断开了 Now, since you don't have a connection to your body,
你得和自己的身体状态同调 you will have to tune back into your physical surroundings.
闭眼 Close your eyes.
用你的顶轮呼吸 Breathe into your crown chakra.
这些真有必要吗 Do we really need all this?
有 Yes!
你船上有钢琴吗 我这样没法集中精力 Do you have a piano on board? I could focus with that.
没有钢琴 乔 你必须专心 No pianos, Joe. You must focus.
想象周围一片宁静 Imagine silence.
注意力集中 感受你身体的位置 Now, concentrate on where your body is.
倾听 寻找蛛丝马迹 Listen for cues.
很好 你做到了 That's it. You're doing it.
别偷看 保持冥想 No peeking. Maintain your meditative state
不然连接就断了 or you'll break the connection.
试试看你能不能闻到 感觉到身体周围的环境 Now, see if you can smell and feel where your body is.
我听到心脏监护仪的声音 I hear a heart monitor.
闻到免洗消毒液的味道 I can smell hand sanitiser.
对 对 很好 Yes. Yes! Good.
我好像能感觉到我的脚 I think I can feel my feet.
毛茸茸的 I feel fur.
你找到他的亲属了吗 Did you find a next of kin?
毛茸茸的 I feel fur.
你听到了吗 Did you hear that?
猫咪疗法起效了 Oh, the therapy cat is working.
是不是快了 我什么时候可以跳下去 Am I close? When can I jump in?
看 那就是我 Look! There I am.
我在那里 There I am.
他的心率在上升 His heart rate is increasing.
我去叫医生来 I'll get the doctor.
白手套先生 你待着别动 Mr Mittens, you stay right there.
我们还等什么呢 不 乔 别心急 What are we waiting for? No, Joe, don't rush this.
时候还没到 不 到时候了 It's not the right time. No, it's my time.
等等 别带上我 Wait, not me!
我成功了 我成功了 我回来了 I did it. I did it! I'm back.
怎么回事 What the...
不 No.
不不不 No. No. No.
我在猫身体里 I'm in the cat?
等等 如果我在猫身体里 那谁... Wait a minute. If I'm in here, then who...
什么 你进了我的身体 What? You're in my body!
你进了猫的身体 等等 那是我的身体 You're in the cat? Wait, wait, that's my body.
我进了身体 不 你为什么在我身体里 I'm in a body! No! Why are you in my body?
我不想当猫 我讨厌猫 I don't wanna be a cat. I hate cats!
真恶心 Oh, it's disgusting.
那个叫明月清风的 他搞砸了 That Moonwind guy, he messed this up.
医生 你得帮帮我 那是我的身体 但我被困在... Doc, you gotta help me. That's my body, but I'm trapped...
不 他们听不懂 Oh, no, they can't understand me.
他们以为你是我 你来说 They think you're me. You gotta try.
医生女士 我们出了点问题 Miss Doctor, we have a problem.
我是个未出生的灵魂 我想留在本我研讨会 I'm an unborn soul and I wanna stay at the You Seminar.
嗯 那药看来完全没起作用 Yes, well, that drug doesn't seem to be working at all.
不不不 你不懂 No, no, no, you don't understand.
我不是加德纳先生 I'm not Mr Gardner.
他们会认为你疯了 They're gonna think you're nuts.
我是说 认为我疯了 I mean, that I'm nuts.
怎么会这样 Oh, how did this happen?
你身体里没有灵魂 所以我掉进来了 I fell into your body because it doesn't have a soul.
那为什么我进了猫的身体 Then why am I in a cat?
我哪知道 I don't know!
需要我们帮你通知谁吗 加德纳先生 Is there anyone we can call, Mr Gardner?
亲属或者朋友 A next of kin or friend?
跟她说不用 不用 Tell her no. Uh, no.
你能告诉我今天是周几吗 Can you tell me what day it is?
这是我一生中最糟的一天 It's the worst day of my life.
我不想到这里来 我讨厌地球 I don't wanna be here. I hate Earth.
这样吧 你先留院观察一段时间 Tell you what. We're going to keep you here for observation.
就一小会 Just for a bit.
我们的治疗猫咪也可以去下个患者那里了 Perhaps our therapy cat can go to his next appointment.
行 行 Okay. Okay.
你跟她说 好吧 You gotta talk to her. Okay.
医生女士 这具身体的灵魂在猫身体里 别说了 Miss Doctor, this body's soul is in this cat. Stop talking.
他当然不想离开 So naturally, he wants to stay close.
猫留下 休息一下吧 Uh, keep the cat. Just get some rest.
好好休息 好吗 A lot of it. Okay?
十分钟后 我再来带走白手套先生 I'll cne get Mr Mittens in ten minutes.
十分钟 我们得离开这里 Ten minutes? We gotta get outta here.
没门 我才不走 No way! I am not moving!
我居然到了这个可怕的星球 有了身体 I can't believe I'm in a body on this hellish planet.
我有可弯折的肉棍 I have bendy meat sticks.
我能感觉到自己的感觉 I can feel myself feeling myself.
集中精神 听我说 Focus! Listen to me.
我们得趁他们带走我之前离开 We gotta get out of here before they take me away.
带走你 你要离开我 Take you away? You're gonna leave me?
没门 你用的可是我的身体 No way! That's my body you're in.
好了 你能走路吗 Okay, do you think you can walk?
我不知道 I don't know!
我的身体试驾失败了436次 I failed Body Test Drive, like, 436 times.
但你能试试吗 But will you try?
好 得去找明月清风 他能解决这个 Okay. Gotta find Moonwind, he can fix this.
我是只猫 我能跳下去 I'm a cat. I can make this.
好 加油 你做得很棒 Okay, cne on, you're doing great.
继续 继续 Keep going. Keep going.
我要在这里休息一下 I'm just gonna rest here for a minute.
不不不 他们随时会回来 快点 No, no, no, no. They'll be back any minute. Come on.
好 Okay!
进去 In here!
好 走吧 Okay, good.
按下行键 Now push the down button.
移动你的...不 小心点 Move your... Nope. Careful.
我可是靠手指吃饭的 Those fingers are my livelihood.
进去 Now get in.
好了 明月清风怎么说的来着 Okay, what did Moonwind say?
他说他在第十四街和第七大道路口 He said on the corner of 14th and 7th.
对 那是切尔西区 杰克逊广场附近 Yeah, that's Chelsea. Near Jackson Square Park.
没错 等等 你怎么知道的 Exactly. Wait. How do you know all that?
都在你这愚蠢的大脑里呢 It's all in this stupid brain of yours.
你不许看 Stay outta there.
别紧张 你脑子里没多少东西 Oh, relax. There's not much here.
爵士乐 爵士乐 还是爵士乐 Jazz, jazz, more jazz.
还有个叫莉莎的人 那是谁 Oh, and someone named Lisa. Who's that?
别管了 Uh, never mind.
我... I, um...
这一切发生太快了 It's all happening too fast, you know.
我们先稍事休整... Let's just take a minute and, um...
快走吧 他们随时可能出现 Come on, let's go. They could be here any second.
别担心 没事的 继续走 Don't worry, it's okay. Just keep walking.
不 别停 你干什么呢 No, don't stop. What are you doing?
这是纽约 This is New York City.
你不能停在大街上 快走 快走 快走 You don't stop in the middle of the street. Go, go, go.
Oh, no. 22. 22!
22. Oh, no. Oh, no. 22. 22.
22! 22!
22 我没意识到我有爪子 好吗 22, I didn't know I had claws, okay?
对不起 但是快点 我们得走了 Look, I'm sorry. But cne on, let's go.
没门 No way.
我就在这里待到你愚蠢的身体死掉 I am staying right here until your stupid body dies.
这身体随时会死掉 Which will happen any minute
因为你的肚子正在地震 now because your stomach is earthquaking.
这地方比我想象的还糟糕 Yeah, this place is worse than I thought.
吵闹 明亮 而且... It's loud, and bright, and...
我的鼻子感觉到的是什么 What is that in my nose?
是气味 That's smell.
要是你觉得闻起来不错 想象一下尝起来的感觉 And if you think that's good, just imagine what it tastes like.
来吧 Go on.
太好吃了 It's so good!
还... It's, uh...
还不错 It's not horrible.
好 你可以边走边吃 我们走 Good. You can eat on the way. Let's go.
或者也可以先吃了 当然可以 Or you just take a few minutes. Sure.
奇怪 我感觉没那么生气了 Strange, I don't feel so angry anymore.
真棒 准备好去找明月清风了吗 That's great. Ready to find Moonwind?
也许可以 Maybe.
跟你说 乔 发音是陀螺仪 I'm telling you, Joe, it's pronounced yee row.
是 但在纽约 我们说回旋仪 希腊语 Yeah, but in New York, we call them gyros. It's Greek.
不 我和阿基米德为此吵了一架 No, I got in a fight with Archimedes about this.
他说是... He said it's...
陀螺仪 溜溜球 Yee row. Yo yo.
陀螺仪 及时享乐 Yee row. YOLO.
陀螺仪 塞吉奥 Yee row. Sergio?
陀螺仪 Yee row!
我想念那个家伙 I miss that guy.
这里就是第十四街和第七大道路口 This is 14th and 7th.
一定是他 That's gotta be him.
明月清风 你得帮我 Moonwind, you gotta help me.
乔 你成功回到身体里了 Joe! You made it into your body.
不 他没有 No, he didn't.
这是我的身体 That is my body.
你在猫身体里 You're in a cat?
太棒了 That's marvellous!
明月懦夫 Hey, Moonwimp!
赶紧转牌子 听到了吗 That sign won't spin by itself, hear me?
但是玛吉 看啊 我把这个人的灵魂放进猫身体里了 But, Marge, look! I put this man's soul in a cat.
谁在乎啊 还有你 Who cares? And you!
我们这里只能容忍一个怪人 快滚 We only have room for one weirdo here, so, scram!
继续工作 Get back to work!
没有人懂我的艺术 No one understands my art.
明月清风 听着 Moonwind, listen,
我得离开这个身体 回到那个身体 I gotta get out of here and back in there.
那我们得进行 Well, we'll have to perform
一种老式的精神世界轮回置换 an old fashioned astral transmigration displacement.
什么 只是一种 A what? It's simply a way
让灵魂回到原来身体的简单方法 to get your souls back where they belong.
也的确是一种光荣的仪式 And it's a glorious ritual, indeed,
充满了吟唱 舞蹈 还有最棒的是邦哥鼓 full of chanting, dancing, and best of all, bongos.
我得在七点赶到二分音符 I need to be at The Half Note by 7:00,
所以现在马上就做 so this needs to happen right now.
别这么急啊 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast.
你必须等到地球 You must wait for another
与精神世界层面之间再次出现薄弱点 thin spot to open between Earth and the astral plane.
而那要等到 And that won't occur
亡神星移到双子座 until Orcus moves into the house of Gemini.
那是什么时候 When is that?
就是政府规定的六点半 Well, the government calls it 6:30.
我们在二分音符见 Look, I'll meet you at The Half Note.
六点半 你说真的 6:30? You serious?
我会集齐所有必需品... I'll gather all the necessary provisions...
我说了快滚 快点 I said, get out of here! Go!
六点半在二分音符见 See you at The Half Note at 6:30!
我会处理好一切的 I'll take care of everything!
别回来了 And stay away!
叫加西亚的可真不少 Sure are a lot of Garcias in here.
你就在这里 小灵魂 You're out there somewhere, little soul,
我会找到你的 and I'm gonna find ya.
好了 这是最后一份零食了 All right, this is the last snack.
我已经快穿不进裤子里了 I can barely fit into my pants as it is.
六点半很快就到 根本来不及 6:30 is cutting it close. Too close.
我们得回我家 给你洗漱干净 然后... We gotta get back to my place and get you cleaned up and...
我们得叫辆出租车 伸出你的手 We gotta hail a cab. Hold your hand out.
举高点 伸手 Hold it up and out.
即使我没穿病号服 也不好打车 Man, this would be hard even if I wasn't wearing a hospital gown.
快快快 快跑过去 Go, go, go! Just run to that one.
是你吗 老师 Is that Teach?
意大利香肠 Pepperoni.
多萝西娅威廉姆斯看见我了 Dorothea Williams saw me.
我该怎么办 她会觉得我疯了 What am I gonna do? She's gonna think I'm crazy.
也许你该给她打个电话 Maybe you should call her up
告诉她 我们没疯 and tell her that we're not crazy.
我只当了一小时的人类 I've only been a person for an hour,
就连我也知道这是个馊主意 and even I know that's a bad idea.
我只需要回到我的身体里 今晚大放异彩 I just gotta get back in my body and really bring it tonight.
为什么这里很臭 但这里闻起来还不错 How cne this part is stinky but this part smells fine?
别管了 把裤子穿上 Never mind. Just put those pants on.
天啊 我真不敢相信 Sheesh, I can't believe I've been
我不穿裤子在外面走来走去 walking around in this city with no pants on.
我都不想来这里 还记得吗 I don't even wanna be here, remember?
我也不想让你来这里 我只是... I don't want you here either. I just...
我只想回到我的身体里 I just wanna get back to my body,
然后去俱乐部 then get back to the club.
你怎么了 What's the matter with you?
我不知道 这太阳 真是... I don't know. It's the sun. It's just so...
我的手机 My phone!
好吧 你的衣服又在嗡嗡作响了 Okay, your clothes are rumbling again.
科里 不 不 Curley! Uh... No, no.
加老师 我是科里 Hey, Mr G, it's Curley.
我希望你没事 I hope you're doin' okay.
多萝西娅看到你吓坏了 Dorothea freaked out when she saw you,
她找了另一个人 罗伯特 and she called this other guy, Robert.
演出机会给他了 抱歉 He's got the gig now. I'm sorry.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
老实说 Look, honestly,
你的课是我去上学的唯一理由 your class was the only reason I went to school at all.
我欠你很大的人情 Like, I owe you a lot.
所以计划是这样的 So, here's the plan.
把自己收拾干净 穿上帅气的西装 Clean yourself up, put on a killer suit,
早点去俱乐部 and get to the club early.
我会努力和她谈谈 I'm gonna try and talk to her.
你一定要出现 Just make sure you show up
打扮得光鲜亮丽 好吗 looking like a million bucks, all right?
希望能见到你 好了 再见 I hope I see you, man. All right. Peace.
我可以拿回演出机会 22 Oh! I can get the gig back, 22.
我需要你帮我 我有一套西装 I need your help. I have a suit.
你要试穿一下 不不不 I'm gonna need you to try it on. No, no, no.
然后我可以把头发稍微修剪一下 And then I can line my hair up a little bit,
然后可以... 不行 没门 没办法 and I can... Nope. No way, no how.
22!
加德纳老师 Mr Gardner?
是康妮 她是来上课的 It's Connie. She's here for her lesson.
我该怎么办 我听见你在 What do I do? I can hear you!
告诉她你今天不能上课了 Just tell her that you can't do it today.
你好 康妮 Hi, Connie.
抱歉 乔今天不能上课了 Sorry, but Joe can't do it today.
你就是乔 我是说我 You're Joe! I mean, me.
我今天不能上课了 Me can't do it today.
很好 我们去看看那套西装 Good. Now let's go check out that suit.
我来告诉你我放弃 I came to tell you that I quit.
放弃 Quit?
我们没时间废话了 西装在衣橱里 We don't have time for this. The suit is in the closet.
乐队真是浪费时间 Band is a stupid waste of time.
这孩子说得很有道理 This kid is talking sense.
你在做什么 What are you doing?
给你 我要退出 我认为爵士乐毫无意义 Here, I quit. I think jazz is pointless.
没错 爵士乐绝对毫无意义 Yeah, jazz is definitely pointless.
事实上 学校里的一切都是浪费时间 In fact, all of school is a waste of time.
当然 就像我的导师乔治奥威尔说的 Of course. Like my mentor, George Orwell, used to say,
"国家资助的教育 "State sponsored education
就像在泔水桶里搅棍子" "is like the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket."
是啊 Yeah!
统治阶级的核心课程扼杀了异议的存在 The ruling class's core curriculum stifles dissent.
这是书上最古老的把戏了 It's the oldest trick in the book.
你在说什么 What are you talkin' about?
这些东西她一点都不在乎 She doesn't care about any of that.
从三年级开始 我就这么说了 I've been saying that since the third grade.
你看起来很聪明 You know, you seem really smart.
你对披萨持什么立场 What is your position on pizza?
我喜欢 我也是 I like it? Me, too!
你在做什么 What are you doing?
我宁愿和康妮一起玩 I'd rather hang with Connie.
什么 回来 你给我打开... What? Come back here! You open this...
你的猫可能想出来 I think your cat wants to get out.
他以为自己什么都懂 He thinks he knows everything.
22 你不许走 22! Don't you walk away from me.
马上回来 Come here right now.
我要进去抓坏沙发了 I'm gonna go in and I'mma scratch up the sofa.
等等 那是我的沙发 Oh, wait a minute, that's my sofa.
你真的想得很通透 康妮 You really got things figured out, Connie.
我最好把这个还给你 这是学校的 I'd better give this back. It belongs to the school.
好 我真的很高兴有其他人 Sure. You know, I really am glad there's someone else
也意识到了这个地方有多荒唐 who sees how ridiculous this place is.
你放弃是对的 我听说放弃... You're right to quit. I learned about quitting...
其实 加老师 You know what, Mr G?
昨天我练了一支曲子 I was practising this one thing yesterday
或许你可以先听听再让我放弃 好吗 and maybe you can listen to it and tell me to quit after, okay?
好吧 Okay.
你真的很喜欢这个 You really love this.
是啊 Yeah.
或许我最好坚持下去 So, maybe I'd better stick with it?
当然了 Yeah.
再见 加老师 Bye, Mr G.
下周见 See you next week!
22!
康妮来这里想放弃 So, Connie came here to quit,
但后来她又没放弃 but then she didn't.
22 别想了 听着 22, forget about that. Listen.
我要搞清楚 乔 I need to know this, Joe.
为什么她没放弃 Why didn't she quit?
因为她热爱演奏 Because she loves to play.
她可能说自己讨厌一切 She might say she hates everything,
但她热爱长号 but trombone is her thing.
她很擅长 She's good at it.
可能长号是她的火花 我不知道 Maybe trombone is her spark, I don't know.
拜托了 如果我想拿回演出机会 Please. If I'm gonna get this gig back,
就需要你的帮助 I need your help.
好吧 Okay.
真的吗 Really?
我会帮你的 但我想做些尝试 I'll help you, but I wanna try a few things.
我也不知道 'Cause I don't know,
有些事没有在本我研讨会体验的那么无聊 some of it's not as boring as it is at the You Seminar,
如果康妮能在这里找到她的爱好 and if Connie can find something she loves here,
或许我也可以 maybe I can, too.
太棒了 那么我们从什么开始 Great! So, what do we do first?
这水疼死我了 没事的 This water hurts! It's okay.
你只需要转动另一个旋钮 You just have to turn the other knob.
好吧 好多了 Oh, okay, that's better.
而且我不介意 And I wouldn't be mad
你洗完之后往我身上抹点身体乳 if you put a little lotion on me when you're done.
我帮你洗了屁屁 I washed your butt for you.
好辣 好辣 Spicy! Spicy!
你们五个去缺乏安全感馆 You five will be insecure.
你们十二个去自私自利馆 And you 12 will be self absorbed.
我们真不能再往那个馆送那么多了 We really should stop sending so many through that pavilion.
找到他了 Found him!
看到了吗 各位 See that, everybody?
是谁弄清了为什么计数对不上 Who figured out why the count's off?
没错 是泰瑞 That's right, Terry did.
现在是泰瑞的高光时刻 It's Terrytime.
干得漂亮 是谁呢 Wow. Nice work. Well, who is it?
好 Right.
他的名字是乔加德纳 Joe Gardner is his name.
他貌似回地球了 Looks like he's back down on Earth.
那可不妙 That's not good.
那是我们给22安排的导师 That... That's the mentor we set up with 22.
好了 好了 别那么歇斯底里 All right, all right. Easy on the hysterics.
泰瑞都能搞定 我会处理好的 Terry's got this under control. I'll handle it.
怎么处理 我下去带他回来 How? I'll go down there and get him.
纠正计数 火速解决 Set the count right, lickety split.
好吧 你确定这是个好主意吗 Okay, whoa. Are you sure that's a good idea?
听着 你们都满腹牢骚 Look, you all are the ones who beefed it.
我正在努力解决问题 I'm trying to un beef it.
但是你不能被人看到 But you cannot be seen.
任何人 By anyone.
别担心 Don't worry.
我会确保没人看到我的 I'll make sure no one else sees me.
我就在阴影里移动 I'll move among the shadows,
像个忍者一样 like a ninja.
拜托了 低调一点 速战速决 Please, just do it quickly and quietly.
还要速战速决 And also quickly.
而且要低调一点 And quietly as well.
不会变成灾难 这是肯定的 This won't be a disaster, that's for sure.
可靠的经典棕色西装 Trusty old brown suit.
还是很合身 Still a perfect fit.
后面这里有点紧 It's a little tight in the back here part.
穿一穿就松了 坐下 It'll loosen. Sit down.
我是只猫 I'm a cat.
我来 I'll do it.
你都不会按电梯 记得吗 没门 You couldn't call an elevator, remember? No way.
我只要稍微修剪一下 别动 I just need to line me up. Now be still.
这像是个小电锯 It's like a little tiny chainsaw.
别动 我没动 是你在动 Don't move. I'm not moving. You're moving.
大事不好 Oh, no!
别担心 我没事 Don't worry, I'm okay.
不不不 我的头发 我的头发有事 Oh, no, no, no! My hair! My hair is not okay!
简直太灾难了 This is a disaster!
我们得修整好 立刻马上 We gotta fix this. Right now.
好吧 怎么修整 Okay. How?
我们去找德兹 We gotta go see Dez.
好啊 德兹是谁 Great. Who's Dez?
伊恩 你怎么搞了个大花生脑袋 Yo, Ian, man, how you get that big peanut head?
怎么回事 What happened?
闭嘴吧老兄 你知道我对此很敏感的 Man, shut up, man. You know I'm sensitive about that.
德兹是最里面那个家伙 Dez is the guy in the back.
他能修整好 He can fix this.
说到火花 Talk about havin' a spark.
这家伙生来就是当理发师的料 This guy was born to be a barber.
我肯定没法在你这些朋友面前蒙混过关 But I can't pass for you in front of all your friends.
我只跟德兹聊天 Dez is the only one that I talk to.
我们一般会讨论爵士乐 We usually talk about jazz,
但是这次 坐着别说话 but this time, just sit there,
理发 然后就走人 get the cut, and get out.
乔 你工作日来这做什么 Hey, Joe. What are you doing here on a weekday?
你没打电话预约 老兄 You didn't call for an appointment, man.
要等上一会了 It's gonna be a while.
我就怕来这个 去坐下吧 I was afraid of this. Go ahead and sit down.
我的天啊 Oh, my Lord.
你得等等了 孩子 You gotta wait, son.
这是紧急情况 This is an emergency.
什么 真不够意思 德兹 What? That ain't cool, Dez.
你可以让哈罗德给你剪啊 You could always let Harold cut your hair.
他那里随时恭候 His chair's wide open.
算了 我能等 Nah. I can wait.
乔 立刻给我坐下 Joe, get your butt in this chair now.
我该问你是怎么弄的吗 Should I even ask you how this happened?
是猫干的 The cat did it.
别说疯话 Stop sounding insane.
我是说 我分心了 I mean, um, I was distracted
忙着准备今晚和多萝西娅威廉姆斯合奏 getting ready to play with Dorothea Williams tonight.
多萝西娅威廉姆斯 那可是大事 乔 Dorothea Williams? That's big time, Joe.
恭喜你 Congratulations!
乔哪来的什么演出 德兹 Joe ain't getting no gig, Dez.
你知道他的 功亏一篑先生 You know he Mr. Close But No Cigar.
这家伙 This guy.
乔 别理他 咱们先来帮你理发 Joe, ignore him. Now let's fix you up.
你要让那只猫坐腿上吗 You keeping that cat on your lap?
这样可以吗 Is it okay that I do that?
随你便 你说了算 Suit yourself. You're the boss.
是吗 I am?
没错 坐在这把椅子上的时候 你说了算 When you're in this chair, yeah, you are.
那我能吃一个那个吗 So can I have one of those?
当然 乔 Sure, Joe.
真不错 Cool.
我喜欢坐在这把椅子上 I like being in the chair.
专心点 别闹了 Hey, get your head in the game.
小电锯 Little chainsaw.
你得冷静点 如果你一直这样 You need to settle down. If you keep this...
顾客有点怪我能接受 Look, I can deal with some freaky stuff,
但这只猫要是不乖乖的 but if this cat don't chill,
我们就得让它出去了 we're gonna have to put it outside.
你打算怎么办 小猫咪 Well, what's it gonna be, kitty?
喵 Meow.
有时候改变一下也不错 Sometimes, change is good.
你保持一种造型挺久的了 You have been rocking that same style for a while.
德兹 几百年来 我根本没有造型 Well, Dez, for hundreds of years, I've had no style at all.
这话说得没错 You can say that again.
但后来我的人生改变了 But then my life changed.
是吗 发生了什么 Oh, yeah? What happened?
以前我作为一个理论构建 I was existing as a theoretical construct
存在于一个介于生与死之间的假想驿站 in a hypothetical way station between life and death.
瞧你说的 I heard that.
等轮到266号导师的时候 And by the time I got to mentor number 266,
我真的想不明白 到底有什么好激动的 I was seriously asking, like, what is all the fuss about?
真的值得为了这样的生活去死吗 Like, is all this living really worth dying for?
懂我意思吗 You know what I mean?
我都不知道你学过这么多有趣的东西 乔 I never knew you had such an interesting education, Joe.
我心想你只是上了音乐学校 I just thought you went to music school.
还有 他们都说人天生就有目标 And another thing, they say you're born to do something,
但怎么才能搞清目标是什么 but how do you figure out what that thing is?
如果选错了怎么办 I mean, what if you pick up the wrong thing?
或者选了别人的目标 Or somebody else's thing, you know?
那就进退两难了 经历过 Then you're stuck. Been there before.
我也要吃糖 I'll take one of those.
我倒不觉得自己进退两难 I wouldn't call myself stuck,
但我从来没打算以剪发为生 but I never planned on cuttin' heads for a livin'.
等等 但你天生就要当理发师 不是吗 Wait, but you were born to be a barber, weren't you?
我想当兽医 I wanted to be a veterinarian.
那你为什么不当 So, why didn't you do that?
海军退役后 我本来打算当的 I was plannin' to when I got out of the Navy.
然后我女儿病了 Then my daughter got sick,
学理发可比学兽医便宜太多了 and barber school is a lot cheaper than veterinarian school.
那太可惜了 Well, that's too bad.
你不得不当理发师 过得很不幸 You're stuck as a barber and now you're unhappy.
别急着下定论 乔 Whoa, whoa, slow your roll there, Joe.
我过得很幸福 I'm happy as a clam, my man.
不是人人都能像查尔斯德鲁一样 发明输血技术 Not everyone can be Charles Drew inventing blood transfusions.
或者像我一样 与多萝西娅威廉姆斯合奏 Or me, playing piano with Dorothea Williams.
我懂 I know.
你才没那么厉害 You are not all that.
再说只要有心 谁都能找个乐队加入 Anyone could play in a band if they wanted to.
别理会保罗 Don't pay Paul any mind.
他那种人只会打击别人 People like him just bring other people down
只是为了自我安慰而已 so they can make themselves feel better.
我懂了 I get it.
他刚刚批评我 He's just criticising me
是为了掩饰他自己梦想破灭的痛苦 to cover up the pain of his own failed dreams.
你太伤人了 乔 You cut deep, Joe.
为什么坐在这张椅子上 I wonder why sitting in this chair
我就想对你倾诉呢 德兹 makes me want to tell you things, Dez.
这就是理发椅的神奇之处 That's the magic of the chair.
这就是我热爱这份工作的原因 That's why I love this job.
我可以结识像你这样有趣的人 I get to meet interesting folks like you,
让他们开心 让他们帅气逼人 make them happy, and make them handsome.
是我疯了吗 我看起来变年轻了 Am I crazy or do I look younger?
虽然我没发明输血技术 I may not have invented blood transfusions,
但我绝对是在拯救生命 but I am most definitely savin' lives.
我不知道你怎么突然成了猫奴 I don't know about this crazy cat guy thing, man,
但我很高兴 but it is nice to
我们终于聊了爵士以外的事 乔 finally talk to you about something other than jazz, Joe.
我们为什么从来没聊过你的生活呢 How cne we, never talked about your life before?
你从来没问过 You never asked.
但我很高兴你这次问了 But I'm glad you did this time.
很帅气 兄弟 祝你演出成功 Looking good, brother. Have a great show.
我拿了几根棒棒糖路上吃 I grabbed a couple of road lollies.
沙尔马医生 请拨3162 Dr Charma, call 3 1 6 2.
茱莉娅蔡尔德直到49岁才成功 Julia Child didn't succeed till she was 49.
保罗 给 吃根棒棒糖 Hey, Paul. Here, have a lollipop.
好 谢了 伙计 Yeah, thanks. Thanks, man.
找到你了 There you are.
别往心里去 好吗 好 No hard feelings, right? All right.
只是朋友间互相调侃罢了 好 Just friends. Just friends goofing on each other. All right.
好 再见 保罗 Okay. Goodbye, Paul.
到泰瑞怀里来 Come to Terry.
抓到你了 Gotcha!
你以为你骗得过宇宙吗 Thought you could cheat the universe?
那你就想错了 Well, you thought wrong.
我是会计师 我要带你... I'm the accountant, and I'm here to bring you in...
你不是乔加德纳 You're not Joe Gardner.
搞错了 My mistake.
这就把你放回肉身里 We'll just get you back into your meat suit.
好了 There you go.
无需介怀 No harm, no foul.
老天 哥们 Boy. Look, fella,
我们完全可以 I'm thinking there's no reason
对这件事保密吧 we can't keep this little incident between us?
错误难免 你的大限还没到 Mistakes happen. And, it's not your time.
除非你继续吃加工食品 我说得对吧 Unless you keep eating those processed foods, am I right?
不过说真的 远离加工食品 But seriously, stay away from those processed foods.
你刚才的表现还不错 You know what, you did all right back there.
你怎么知道该如何应对保罗的 How did you know how to deal with Paul?
我不知道 我只是做我自己 I didn't. I just let out the me.
就像你说的爵士 我在玩爵士 Hey, like you said about jazz. I was jazzing.
首先 没有"玩爵士"这么一说 First of all, "Jazzing" is not a word.
其次 音乐与生活有着截然不同的规则 And second, music and life operate by very different rules.
上面写着撕一条 It says take one.
别撕 想撕也行 好吧 Don't... Or do. Okay. Fine.
"有辆货车的司机" "Man with a van."
我撕了几条 以防我们需要很多货车 I got a few in case we need a lot of vans.
继续照计划行事 Now, let's get back to the plan.
我们去二分音符等明月清风 We go to The Half Note and wait there for Moonwind.
现在大概是下午4点 It's around 4:00 p.m. mow...
这两条腿你用得越来越得心应手了 You know what? You are really getting good at using those legs.
不如你跑一下试试 Why don't you try runnin'?
我弄出了一首曲子 我在玩爵士 Hey! I made a song. I'm jazzing.
不要再说玩爵士这种傻话了 Okay, enough of the jazzing and everything like that.
我们得赶快过去 我... We need to get somewhere. Now, I I I I...
好痒 你在做什么 That tickles. What are you doing?
糟了 我去捡 Whoops. I got it.
你能快点吗 Would you hurry up?
好 Okay.
你说得对 裤子确实穿一穿就松了 You were right. These pants are loosening.
不不不 No, no, no.
别让人看你的屁股 Don't let people see your butt!
是你的屁股 是谁的屁股不重要 It's your butt. It doesn't matter whose butt...
脱掉外套 绑在你的腰上 Take off the jacket. Tie it around your waist.
快点 遮住屁股 Quick! Cover the butt!
我们该怎么办 What are we gonna do?
这么晚找不到裁缝了 I can't find a tailor this late...
坏了 我们得去我妈店里 好 No. We're gonna have to go to Mom's. Okay.
不不不 你不明白 No, no, no, you don't understand.
我妈不知道演出的事 Mom doesn't know about this gig.
她不会喜欢的 And she's not gonna like it.
好 Okay.
我们别无选择 We don't have any other choice.
好 只有她才能把裤子补好 Okay. She's the only one that can fix this.
好 别再说好了 Okay. Stop saying "Okay"!
我们要搭地铁去城市那头 快点 We gotta catch the subway across town. Come on.
好...明白 Okay... Got it.
我妈根本不知道演出的事 My mom doesn't know anything about the gig,
我也不想让她知道 and I wanna keep it that way, okay?
因为她认为你一无所成 Right, because she thinks you're a failure.
什么 不是我说的 What? I didn't say that.
是你的脑子说的 You did. Up here.
我妈对成功有自己的定义 Look, my mom has her own definition of what success is,
她不认为当职业音乐家算成功 and being a professional musician isn't it.
我想想 我需要补好西装去参加 So, let me see, I need the suit fixed for a,
学校乐队演奏会 school band recital.
我也不想这样 I'm not looking forward to this,
但是没必要让她知道 but there's no reason she needs to know...
若爱是基奠 If love is the foundation
若目标是循环生命 If the purpose be to recycle life
我保证会合二为一 I promise you I'll bring us to one
伤心到此为止 Bleeding heart in the end now
尽管相隔两地 Though we're apart
我说不好 每次我快要实现梦想 I don't know. All the times I've been so close to getting to my dreams,
就会有事情妨碍我 something always gets in the way.
你明白吗 You know what I mean?
真爱是如何开始的 How true lovin' began
他唱得真好 He's good.
我以前听过音乐 And I've heard music before,
但我内心从未有过这种感受 but I've never felt like this inside.
你现在当然喜欢音乐 因为你是我 走吧 Of course, you love music now, because you're me. Let's go.
爱 Now, love
我们走 Let's go.
爱 Love
爱 爱 Love, love
说到爱 Talkin' about love
爱 Love
爱 Love
小心点行吗 Hey, take it easy, eh?
对不起 I'm sorry.
别在意 Don't worry about it.
这里是地铁 会影响到一些人 It's the subway. It does that to some people.
什么影响 这里让人崩溃 Does what? It wears you down.
又臭又热 人挤着人 It stinks. It's hot. It's crowded.
每天都一成不变 日复一日 Every day the same thing, day in and day out.
但是只要我今晚登台演出 But once I get on the stage tonight,
我所有的烦恼就都解决了 all my troubles are going to be fixed.
你会见到一个全新的乔加德纳 You're gonna see a brand new Joe Gardner.
你哪弄来的饮料 Where'd you get that?
座位底下 你能相信吗 Under the seat. Can you believe it?
居然还有半杯 It's still half full.
好了 记住 All right, remember,
我需要补好西装去参加乐队演奏会 记住了吗 I need the suit fixed for a band recital. Got it?
乔伊 好小伙 乔伊 Joey! Oh, baby boy... Joey!
我真为你感到骄傲 我们听说了 Oh, I'm so proud of you. we heard the news.
糟了 她知道了 Oh, crap. She knows.
你妈妈在里面 Your momma's in the back.
你得进去 不 我不想去 You gotta go in there. No, I don't want to.
你必须去 我们得把西装补好 You have to. We need the suit fixed.
乔伊 你是不是忘了什么 You forgetting something, Joey?
什么 亲她 What? Kiss her.
我每次见到梅尔芭都会亲她 I always kiss Melba when I see her.
快去 Just do it.
不 不 不是亲嘴 No, no, no. Not on the lips.
乔伊 你这是怎么回事 孩子 Joey! What has gotten into you, boy?
让他好好亲 Let him finish.
就知道你喜欢小鲜肉 Cougar. I knew it.
乔伊 等你出来可要再亲我一口 I'll take another kiss when you get back, Joey.
这就是你说的不再追逐演出梦吗 So much for being done chasing after gigs, huh?
我希望那只猫不是你拿来哄我开心的 I hope that cat isn't supposed to be some kind of peace offering.
来 快来 Come. Come on.
就说是你救助的 Just say you rescued it.
不是 这是我的猫 我救助的 Um, no. It's mine. I rescued it.
可惜你救不了你的事业 Too bad you can't rescue your career.
好好问她能不能补好我的西装 Just ask her nicely if she can fix my suit.
妈 你能不能帮我把这个补好 So, Mom, is there any way you can fix this?
我可不想看到这个 I don't need to see that.
我知道 很丢人吧 I know. Embarrassing, right?
你能补好吗 So, you'll fix it?
不能 什么 No. What?
你还要这样折腾多久 乔伊 How long are you going to keep doing this, Joey?
你跟我说会接受那份全职工作 You tell me you're going to accept the full time position...
又来了 Here it cnes.
结果我却听说你又接了个演出 ...and instead, I hear you've taken another gig.
跟她说这个不一样 Tell her that this one is different.
这个不一样 This one's different!
这个演出能带来退休金和医保吗 Does this gig have a pension? Health insurance?
不能 那就跟之前那些没两样 No? Then it's the same as the other ones.
你连对我说实话都做不到了 It's like you can't even be truthful with me anymore.
算了 我们去商店买套便宜西装 Fine, we'll get the suit off the rack somewhere.
我妈从来不理解 My mom has never understood
我这辈子想要做的事 what I'm trying to do with my life.
算了 我们去商店买套便宜西装 Fine, we'll get the suit off the rack somewhere.
我妈从来不理解 My mom has never understood
我这辈子想要做的事 what I'm trying to do with my life.
22 你说什么 22! What did you just say?
我可以拔腿就跑吗 就像你往常一样 Can I run away now, like you usually do?
不 这次不行 跟着我说 No. Not this time. Repeat after me.
妈 我知道我们有过一些争执 Mom, I know we've had some rough times,
但你说得对 but you're right,
我没法对你说实话 I can't be truthful with you.
因为不管我做什么 你似乎都不赞同 Because it seems like no matter what I do, you disapprove.
我知道你喜欢演奏 Look, I know you love playing.
那为什么除了在教堂以外 Then how cne except for church,
我不弹琴你就最高兴 you're the happiest when I don't?
我终于拿到了这辈子最重要的演出机会 I finally land the gig of my life and
你却生气了 you're upset.
你没看到当音乐家让你父亲活得多艰难 You didn't see how tough being a musician was on your father.
我不想看到你也那样受苦 I don't want to see you struggle like that.
所以我爸可以追逐梦想 我却不行 So Dad could pursue his dreams, and I can't?
你父亲有我 Your father had me.
大多数时候 是靠我开店挣钱养家 Most times, this shop is what paid the bills.
等我不在了 谁来养活你呢 So when I'm gone, who's gonna pay yours?
我满脑子就只有音乐 Music is all I think about.
从早上一睁开眼睛 From the moment I wake up in the morning
一直到晚上睡着 to the moment I fall asleep at night.
梦想是不能当饭吃的 乔伊 You can't eat dreams for breakfast, Joey.
那我就不吃饭了 Then I don't want to eat.
这不是我的事业 妈 This isn't about my career, Mom.
这是我活着的理由 It's my reason for living.
我知道爸也是这样的 And I know Dad felt the same way.
我只是怕如果今天我死了 I'm just afraid that if I died today,
我的人生就一无所成 that my life would've amounted to nothing.
乔伊 Joey.
那还是穿这套吧 Let's make this work instead.
那是我爸的西装 That's my dad's suit.
露露 梅尔芭 Lulu. Melba.
把你们的好剪刀拿来 我们有活要干 Bring your good scissors in here. We got work to do.
这个穿起来真不错 This feels really nice.
你帅呆了 非常合身 You look marvellous. It fits perfectly.
你看看我的手艺 You see how I did that?
真是考究的羊毛西装 不是我吹的 That is one fine wool suit, if I do say so myself.
我能试试那个吗 当然可以 Can I try on that? Of course you can.
太帅气了 Just handsome.
谢谢你 妈 Thank you, uh, Mom.
雷要是看到你一定会非常骄傲 宝贝 Ray would have been so proud of you, baby.
就像我一直为你骄傲 Like I've always been.
你听到我说的话了吧 You heard me, right?
这西装是羊毛的 不是涤纶的 The suit is wool, not polyester.
不许再把那只猫扛到肩膀上了 So, don't go putting that cat on your shoulders again.
遵命 Yes, ma'am!
裤脚收得真漂亮 Oh, there's a nice little taper there.
谢谢 妈 Thanks, Mom.
真是太神奇了 Oh, that was amazin'.
你知道那是什么感觉吗 爵士的感觉 You know what that felt like? It felt like jazz.
对 你在玩爵士 Yeah, you were jazzing.
好吧 玩爵士 Okay, jazzing.
乔 我跟你说 I'm telling you, Joe.
你真的应该再给莉莎打个电话 You really should call Lisa again.
22 我现在真没时间谈恋爱 I don't really have time for a relationship right now, 22.
现在很忙是吗 Oh, busy right now?
想等你死第二次的时候再谈 Wanna wait till you die a second time?
行啊 行啊 Cool, cool, cool.
想不到我竟然要听一个没出生的灵魂 I can't believe I'm getting romantic advice
教我谈恋爱 from an unborn soul.
这不算什么 I can think of worse.
到了 There it is.
我们到了 我们一定能成功 We made it! This is going to work.
真不敢相信我看起来这么潇洒 I can't believe how good I look.
这西装 这剪裁 看看我 The suit, the cut. Just look at me.
往右边靠一点 这样吗 Just turn a little bit right there. Like this?
肩膀斜一点 那是谁 Angle the shoulders, and... Oh, hey, who's that?
还有这边 就是这样 And from this side. That's it.
什么 这边又是谁 What? Who's back here?
还是我 绝对能成功 Still me. That's a winner.
对吧 Right?
难以置信 我真不敢相信 This can't be happenin'. Now, I'm not gonna believe this.
二分音符 The Half Note.
晚餐他让你买单吗 He made you pay for dinner?
你准备好了吗 So, you ready?
回家 To go home.
你肯定迫不及待要告别这具臭烘烘的肉体吧 I bet you're ready to get off of this stinky rock, huh?
你觉得地球怎么样 What do you think of Earth, anyway?
我一直说地球很无聊 但是 I always said it was dumb. But...
我是说 I mean...
看看我发现的这些东西 Just look at what I found.
你妈给你缝衣服用了这个可爱的线轴 Your mom sewed your suit from this cute spool.
我紧张的时候 德兹给了我这个 When I was nervous, Dez gave me this.
在地铁上有人吼我 很可怕 A guy on the subway yelled at me. It was scary.
但我好像也有点喜欢 But I kind of liked that, too.
其实 我一直担心 Truth is, I've always worried
自己可能有什么毛病 你明白吗 that maybe there's something wrong with me. You know?
或许我还不够格获得生命 Maybe I'm not good enough for living.
但你让我看到了目标和爱好 But then you showed me about purpose and passion,
或许我的火花可以是仰望天空 and maybe sky watching can be my spark.
或者是走路 我很擅长走路 Or walking. I'm really good at walking.
这些都不算是目标 22 Those really aren't purposes, 22.
只不过是寻常的生活 That's just regular old living.
不过等你回到本我研讨会 But, hey, when you get back to the You Seminar,
你可以认真试一试 you can give it an honest try.
不 我已经在本我研讨会试了几千年了 No, but I've been at the You Seminar for thousands of years
我从未感觉如此接近成功 and I have never felt this close.
乔 谁准备好回家了 Joe! Who's ready to go home?
明月清风 Moonwind.
星星就快要排成直线了 好啊 The stars are almost in alignment. All right.
我马上就让你回到自己的身体里 I'll have you back in your bodies in no time.
不 我必须在地球上找到它 No. I've gotta find it here, on Earth.
这是我找到火花的唯一机会 This is my only chance to find my spark.
22 你喜欢这些东西是因为你在我的身体里 22, you're only loving this stuff because you're in my body.
等你回到本我研讨会 You can find your own thing to love
你可以去找你自己喜欢的东西 when you get back to the You Seminar.
快过来 我要回到我的身体里 快 Now, cne on, I need my body back. Now!
不 No.
我说了算 I'm in the chair.
22 别烦我 22! Leave me alone!
我要找到我的目标 I'm trying to find my purpose!
22 你给我回来 22, you cne back here!
22!
白手套先生 Mr Mittens.
找到他们了 There they are.
你给我回来 You cne back here right now!
你偷了我的身体 You stole my body!
你的大限已到 乔加德纳 It's your time to go, Joe Gardner.
不行 你想得美 Oh, no, you don't.
抓到了 Gotcha!
不不不 No, no, no.
不 不 No, no!
我本可以与多萝西娅威廉姆斯合奏 I was gonna play with Dorothea Williams!
我本可以找到我的火花 And I was about to find my spark!
找到你的火花 你答应过的 Find your spark? You promised,
我的人生终于有转机了 但你连五分钟都不肯给我 My life was finally going to change! but you wouldn't even give me five minutes!
你害我失去了一切 乔 I lost everything because of you! Joe!
你作弊了 You cheated.
找到他了 Found him.
乔加德纳 你回来了 Joe Gardner. You're back!
泰瑞 你找到他们了 Terry, you found them.
不用客气 No need to thank me.
一切回归正轨真好 还有... It's so nice to have everything back in order, and...
22拿到了通行证 22 got her pass?
我的天 22 你有地球通行证了 Oh, my goodness. 22! You got an Earth Pass!
太棒了 This is amazing!
我就知道你能做到 太疯狂了 I knew you could do it. This is cray cray.
但是...最后一格填了什么 But what... What filled in the last box?
我告诉你填了什么 是我 I'll tell you what filled it in. I did!
是我的火花改变了这个徽章 It was my spark that changed that badge.
她在我的身体里过我的生活 才拿到了通行证 She only got that because she was living my life in my body.
我... 该走了 加德纳先生 I was... Come on, Mr Gardner.
乔 你该送22去地球传送门了 Joe, it's time for you to accnpany 22 to the Earth portal.
你们可以好好告别 Give you a chance to say goodbye.
当然 这是标准流程 Of course. It's standard procedure.
等一下 我要把纠正计数 Just hold on a minute. I get to set the count right.
泰瑞 你做得非常好 Terry, you have done a super job.
接下来就交给我们吧 We'll take it from here.
你很棒 You're amazing.
谢谢你 Well, thank you.
泰瑞的高光时刻 Terrytime.
去吧 你们俩 Go ahead, you two.
你又不知道 You don't know.
你不能确定为什么我的通行证变了 You can't be sure why my pass changed.
得了吧 22 好好想想 Come on, 22. Think about it.
在进入我的身体之前 你讨厌音乐 You hated music until you were in my body.
在你变成我之前 你讨厌一切 You hated everything until you were me.
希望你喜欢 I hope you enjoy it.
我得问问 你究竟做了什么 I have to ask, how the Dickens did you do it?
能让地球通行证改变 Get that Earth Pass to change?
可以这么说 You know what, I...
我只是让她站在我的角度体验生活 I just let her walk a mile in my shoes, you could say.
那奏效了 Well, it worked.
你大概该去往生了 Well, you should probably get going to the Great Beyond.
我们还没搞清楚22的目标是什么 Hey, um, we never found out what 22's purpose was.
你说什么 就是她的火花 Excuse me? You know, her, uh, spark.
她的目标 是音乐吗 还是生物 走路 Her purpose. Was it music? Biology? Walking?
我们不分配目标 你为什么会这么想 We don't assign purposes. Where did you get that idea?
因为我有钢琴 Because I have piano.
那是我命中注定的 我的火花 It's what I was born to do. That's my spark.
火花不是灵魂的目标 A spark isn't a soul's purpose.
你们这些导师张嘴闭嘴就是爱好 Oh, you mentors and your passions.
目标 人生意义 Your purposes. Your meanings of life.
太低级了 So basic.
不 不 No, no, it...
是音乐 我的火花是音乐 我... It is music. My spark is music. I...
我很确定 I know it is.
我不行 I'm no good.
我没有目标 I got no purpose.
没有目标 No purpose.
没有目标 No purpose.
加老师 Mr G?
科里 我来了 我准备好了 Curley, I made it. I'm ready to go.
你太迟了 老兄 You're too late, man.
让我和多萝西娅说说 Let me talk to Dorothea.
不不不 老兄 她不搞这一套 No, no, no, man. She don't play that.
这些说唱歌手就像...谁放这个疯子进来的 These rappers act like... Who let this lunatic in here?
听着 你要再给我个机会 Listen, you gotta give me another chance.
这是我的乐队 我决定谁来演奏 This is my band. I decide who plays.
如果你不选择我 And if you don't go with me,
你就会犯下整个生涯最大的错误 you'll be making the biggest mistake of your career.
真的吗 为什么 Oh, yeah? Why's that?
我在这个星球上唯一的目标就是演奏 My only purpose on this planet is to play.
这是我命中注定的 什么也阻止不了我 It's what I was meant to do. And nothing's gonna stop me.
你可真够傲慢的啊 Well, aren't you an arrogant one?
不愧是爵士乐手 I guess you really are a jazz player.
让罗伯特走吧 暂时而已 Tell Robert he's out. For now.
西装不错 Nice suit.
准备好 乔加德纳 你的人生即将开始 Get ready, Joe Gardner, your life is about to start.
欢迎加入四重奏 老师 Welcne to the quartet, Teach.
那是我儿子乔伊 That's my Joey!
好精彩的演出 最后的独奏太棒了 What a show! That last solo was brilliant.
太棒了 That was amazing!
我不要再帮你衔接过渡了 I'm not gonna cover that bridge for you again.
回见 加老师 祝贺你 Later, Mr G. Congratulations.
你很棒 我们爱你 我真为你骄傲 乔伊 You did great. We love you. I'm so proud of you, Joey.
得回家睡觉了 我们老了 Gotta get to bed. We old.
演一百场才会有一场大放异彩 You play 100 shows, and one of them is killer.
今晚这样的盛况可不常见 You don't get many like tonight.
是啊 Yeah.
接下来会怎样 So, uh, what happens next?
明晚我们再来 再演一次 We cne back tomorrow night and do it all again.
怎么了 老师 What's wrong, Teach?
只是 我一辈子都在等这一天 It's just I've been waiting on this day for my entire life.
我以为会有不同的感觉 I thought I'd feel different.
我听过一个关于鱼的故事 I heard this story about a fish.
一条鱼游向另一条年长的鱼 说 He swims up to this older fish and says,
"我想找到大家所说的海洋" "I'm trying to find this thing they call the ocean."
"海洋" 年长的鱼说 "The ocean?" says the older fish.
"你现在就身处海洋" "That's what you're in right now."
"这里吗" 年轻的鱼说 "这是水" "This?" says the young fish. "This is water."
"我想要的是海洋" "What I want is the ocean."
明天见 See you tomorrow.
老兄 抱歉 Hey, man. Sorry.
或许我的火花可以是仰望天空 Maybe sky watching can be my spark.
或者是走路 我很擅长走路 Or walking. I'm really good at walking.
这些都不算是目标 22 Those really aren't purposes, 22.
只不过是寻常的生活 That's just regular old living.
乔 Joe?
乔 Joe!
老天啊 你怎么进入忘我境界了 Good heavens, man. What are you doing in the zone?
明月清风 我搞砸了 我得找到22 Moonwind. I messed up. I need to find 22.
恐怕她已经变成迷失的灵魂了 I'm afraid she's becne a lost soul.
什么 路上跟你解释 What? I'll explain on the way.
你们俩都没回到二分音符 When neither of you returned to The Half Note,
我就猜测事有不妙 I suspected something had gone wrong.
我回到这里时 就发现了她 I came back here, and that's when I spotted her.
迷失的灵魂为着某种 Lost souls are obsessed by something
将他们与生命隔断的东西而痴迷 that disconnects them from life.
如今22已尝过生活的滋味 她也变成了其中之一 And now that 22 has technically lived, she's becne one of them.
在那 干得好 There! Good show.
22!
把捕网准备好 我来 Ready the net. I'm on it.
她把我们拖住了 She's got us!
明月清风 Moonwind!
船长永远和船同生共死 A captain always goes down with the ship.
认识你很... It has been a...
22!
回来 22 是我 乔 Come back, 22. It's me, Joe.
放松 22 别紧张 Easy, 22, easy.
我回来把这个交给你 I just came back to give you this.
别怕 Easy.
22 听我说 回来 22, listen. Come back!
因为你更正了我们大意的错误 And for correcting our absent minded mistakes
并且纠正了计数 and setting the count right,
泰瑞 我们按照你的要求 颁给你这个奖杯 we are awarding you, Terry, this trophy. As you requested.
我非常高兴接受这个我要求的非常特别的奖项 I am happy to accept this very special award I requested,
但此表彰我实至名归 but that I absolutely deserve.
乔加德纳 Joe Gardner?
这个我要收回了 And I'll just take that back.
菜鸟 这可不是你该待的地方 Oi, noob! You're not where you belong.
22 停下 我有话要对你说 22, stop. I have something to tell you.
住手 别扔了 Stop that. No.
22!
看着点 Whoa, watch out!
别乱跑 Take it easy.
好了 好了 无需惊慌 There, there. There's no need to be afraid.
别担心 冷静一下 Don't worry. Calm down.
你不能再这么瞎跑了 拜托 You have to stop running. Please.
22 停下 22, stop.
22 我错了 22, I was wrong.
求你听我说好吗 你已经准备好去生活了 22 Please, will you listen? You are ready to live, 22.
我不够格 不行 不够格 I'm not good enough. Nope. No.
我一无是处 我得填上最后一格 22 Nothing. I just need to fill out that last box. 22!
你不够正直 You're dishonest.
你做的决定都十分愚蠢 All you make are bad decisions.
你也不够聪明 无法过好人世间的生活 You are unwise and you won't make it in the world.
你自私至极 没人愿意和你一起生活 You're so selfish. No one would ever want to be around you.
废物 Loser.
这个世界需要杰出的人 Oh, the world needs remarkable people
而你是我所见过最平庸的灵魂 and you are the least remarkable soul I've ever met.
你永远无法找到你的火花 You'll never find your spark.
蠢货 Imbecile.
我帮不了你 I cannot help you.
22!
我得找到火花填上最后一格 I just need to fill out that last box.
我根本不够格 I'm not good enough at all.
你永远无法找到你的火花 You will never find your spark.
毫无意义 There's no point.
这些才不算是目标 笨蛋 Those aren't purposes, you idiot.
只不过是寻常的生活 That's just regular old living.
这真是浪费时间 This is a waste of time.
你得到徽章是因为你进入了我的身体 You only got that badge because you were in my body.
都怪你毁了一切 That's why you ruin everything.
你的存在毫无意义 Because you have no purpose.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
毫无意义 There's no point.
你永远无法找到你生命的火花 You'll never find your spark.
因为你根本没有目标 Because you have no purpose!
我不够格 不行 I'm not good. Nope.
一无是处 我得填上最后一格 我放弃 Nothing. I just need to fill out that last box. I give up.
你准备好了吗 You ready?
什么 去生活 Huh? To cne live.
我很害怕 乔 I'm scared, Joe.
我不够格 I'm not good enough.
反正我也没找到火花 Anyway, I never got my spark.
你找到了 Yes, you did.
火花并不是目标 Your spark isn't your purpose.
当你准备好去生活时 最后一个格子就填上了 That last box fills in when you're ready to cne live.
还有 And, the thing is
你玩爵士玩得很棒 you're pretty great at jazzing.
但是 乔 But, Joe,
这也就意味着你不能... this means you won't get to...
没关系 我已经尝过人生百态 It's okay. I already did.
现在该你了 Now it's your turn.
我陪你去 I'll go with you.
你知道你不能去的 You know you can't do that.
我知道 我能陪你多远就走多远 I know. But I'll go as far as I can.
快看啊 Hey! Take a look!
加德纳先生 Mr Gardner?
什么事 Yes?
能聊聊吗 Do you have a moment?
我想代表所有的杰瑞谢谢你 I think I'm speaking for all the Jerrys when I say thank you.
为什么谢我 For what?
我们的工作是激励人心 乔 We're in the business of inspiration, Joe,
但我们自己很少受到鼓舞 but it's not often we find ourselves inspired.
是吗 Really?
所以我们一致决定再给你一次机会 So, we all decided to give you another chance.
希望从今以后你走路能小心些 Hopefully, you will watch where you walk from now on.
那泰瑞呢 But what about Terry?
我们和泰瑞协商好了 We worked it out with Terry.
这就怪了 That's weird.
泰瑞 你看那是什么 Hey, Terry, what's that over there?
快看 Look immediately.
什么 什么东西 What? What are you talking about?
没事 你说啥 怎么回事 Oh, nothing. You were saying? Hmm?
你刚说话了吗 我不记得了 Were you even talking? I can't remember.
算了 Never mind.
怎么样 Well?
谢谢 Thanks.
你打算做什么 So what do you think you'll do?
打算怎么度过你的人生 How are you gonna spend your life?
我也不确定 I'm not sure.
但我知道 But I do know...
我要尽情享受每一分钟 I'm going to live every minute of it.
心灵奇旅
我名叫饶舌塞德 Rappin Ced is the name
你可别记错了 And you should get it right
登台就如炸药一般场面爆裂 Blowin' up on the scene like dynamite
乔伊加弹键盘 凯蒂汤米同我一起饶舌 Joey G on the keys Katie and Tommy with me
你愿下多少赌注 How much you wanna bet?
我们能红遍整座城市 We can take the whole city
看我们帅气出场 从曼哈顿岛 You see us stylin' from the island
一直到布鲁克林 All the way to BK
布朗克斯的节奏 我们发扬光大 Boogie Down made the sound but we took it away
如此豪横闯荡哈林区也没问题 I go to Harlem it's no problems If you know what I mean
全体都向皇后区王者鞠躬致敬 Now everybody bow down to The Kings of Queens
电影结束了 Hey! Movie's over.
快回家 Go home!
